We Garrisoned Earth

The Lektia easily conquered Earth, after all humanity barely had any advanced weapons and no fleet upon which to defend themselves.  The primitive weapons which humans used were no match for the technology upon which the Lektia brought to the battlefield.

Yes, it was agreed that humanity did adapt quickly, but the gap was too large.  Now with the established garrisons all over the planet they finally had control over this world and its resources.

Sure, there had been an uproar in the Galactic Council, but nothing they couldn’t handle.  If one of the other races wanted to do something about it, they would find themselves facing a Lektia battlefleet, something no other race wanted to do.

Yet the first signs of problems stated to arise as complaints came from soldiers stationed on Earth.

It started simple enough.  Requests for pest control as small creatures started to infest the buildings.  One company of soldiers spent the entire night fighting a creature that seemed to keep coming back to life after being squished.  It landed onto two soldiers faces during the night, both undergoing mental rehab over the ordeal.

When the humans were asked about it, they simply replied, oh, it was a cockroach.  Yeah, if you see one know there are many more hiding in the walls.

Well, that didn’t sit well the soldiers.  When asked how to eliminate them, they replied you don’t.  They said in a serious tone that only cockroaches would survive a nuclear war.

Another company has begun to refuse to do drills outside.  Not after one solider suffered horrendous injuries suffered upon stepping on a pile of reddish dirt in a pile.  Only quick thinking from the medical staff saved the soldier’s life.  But the quickness of the assault, and the fact these mounds are everywhere have terrorized the soldiers.

We asked the humans about this again.  Fire ants they replied.  Apparently they are highly aggressive when stepped on.  To demonstrate the human tapped his foot on the mound and a hundreds of little creatures emerged.

When this company learned of cockroaches, they mutinied.  It seems Texas isn’t a place to have garrisons.

In another place, it wasn’t the animals, but weather.  This garrison base was hit with such severe storms that no soldier dared leave.  The lightning and thunder which accompanied the rain was frightening.  We learned that humans think of these as ‘afternoon’ thundershowers.  One then mentioned there wasn’t even a tornado.

What is that you ask?  One of god’s fingers coming down to the planet’s surface to spite you.  Even most humans run from this, unless you’re crazy and chase them.  We never understood how some humans are so brain damaged that they chase such things.

But lightning and hail, hail I said, which are normal for these storms.  And these humans said our base looks like a trailer home and laughed.  We still don’t get that one, their sense of humor is, odd.

This was a place called Oklahoma.

Another garrison expressed their desire to be transferred.  Upon wondering we were confused.  The humans there are actually very nice.  But it appears there is something called earthquakes where the ground moves according to tectonic plate movement.

Their planet acts as if its alive?

The ground moves and shakes and the humans there pause, then go right back to what they were doing.  How?

We lost all our garrisons in a country called Japan due to this.

And this doesn’t include their volcanoes.  Yes, volcanoes on their planet.  The garrison in Sicily just up and abandoned their post when a volcano called Etna erupted during the night.  The humans just watched saying this was minor and not worthy of anything but a video online.

The troops and commanders garrisoned all over the planet are beginning to think there is something wrong with these humans.  They treat us nicely despite having taken over, yet their planet wishes to kill all of us.  The humans just laugh and joke about it, joke about it!

Don’t get us started on Australia, that’s its own separate hellhole.

The recommendation is we abandon Earth to the humans and control the space docks in orbit.

Oh yeah, heavy inspections for any ship leaving.  We don’t need any of those creatures like fire ants leaving that planet.